


Forever Chasing Time

by Destiny_Apocalypse



Series: Ashanna Lavellan Canon [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Because I needed it, F/M, Post Trespasser, and some optimism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 13:10:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4788407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiny_Apocalypse/pseuds/Destiny_Apocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashanna has an unexpected encounter with the Dread Wolf at his temple. Post-Trespasser.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever Chasing Time

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't intending to post this here since it was just two little drabbles, but I had such a good response to it on tumblr I thought it was worth adding to my writing on here. 
> 
> I like the idea where they cross paths every few years and give in to their feelings. Solas can keep himself at bay in the fade because it's easier for him there, but to be around her in the waking world is too hard.

“You should not be here”

 

Ashanna turns on her heel, slowly; the worn book in her good hand dropping with a thud back to the dusty table. A moment of panic flares in her breast before she quells it. She has nothing to fear from him, except for her heart. Her yellow eyes look up to see the man that has gazed longingly in her dreams each night, skittish as a nervous halla that would dart into nothingness when she would approach.

 

There is nothing skittish about him in the flesh, however. In the waking world he stalks his old temple as the wolf, his robes finer and more regal than the last time she saw him. His back straight, posture rigid, arms clasped firmly behind his back. Yet when his sad eyes meet hers, his are the ones that break away first.

 

“You should not be here,” he repeats, his voice rough with all that went unsaid between them. 

 

He is wrong, she  _should_ be here. There is knowledge to be gained and used; the voices from the well ring her her head at the sight of so much. 

 

“I should be in Rivain, you mean?” Her lips curve wickedly though the smile does not reach her eyes. “There is Inquisition presence there. Just not an Inquisitor. I do apologize if your spies report otherwise.”

 

There is pride in his eyes, even as his mouth twists into a frown. 

 

“A well played ruse. But ultimately pointless. There is nothing in my old temple for you to find.” A small sigh escapes him. He still cannot meet her gaze. This may be his temple, but she has the advantage here.  

 

“I found the Dread Wolf. It’s a start.” She flashes him a warm smile, and he turns his head at the sight. 

 

“Even so, I cannot allow you to roam the temple freely. I must ask you to leave.”

 

“And if I do not? Will you do so by force?”

 

She knows he will not. Still, she has no doubts he had other methods of removing her that did not require him to lay harm to her.

 

His face breaks now, pained. “ _Vhenan_ …”

 

She moves from the table and takes a step forward. He is watching her warily, like an animal ready to run at the first sign of danger. He cannot disappear so readily this time however, this far from the Fade.

 

“If there is nothing to be found here, then leave me to search in peace. You are  _so_  good at leaving me, after all.”

 

The barb is childish, and she regrets it as soon as she sees the hurt spread on his face like a crack in a mirror. As bitter as she is, she takes no pleasure in inflicting more pain on what he already suffers. She takes another step forward. He tenses visibly.

 

“ _Ir abelas, Fen'Harel,_ ” she whispers because she cannot bear the hurt in his eyes. “I just…I miss you.”

 

“Why?” His voice is thick and guttural from pain, his posture slumping further as she takes another step closer. “I destroyed our hearts as surely as I destroyed our people. I bring nothing but pain and sorrow and death into your life.”

 

“You helped a sad, pathetic Dalish girl out of her despair to see the wisdom and beauty in your world. I  _love_  you for that. I want to help you the way you helped me, Solas. There are things in this world worth saving.”

 

He takes a slow, deep breath. When he exhales it’s shuddery and ragged, and tears glisten at the corners of his eyes.

 

She will not convince him this time around. But it is to be expected; her wolf is old and set in his ways. She is not un-aging like her lover, but she can still be patient, and would slowly continue chipping away at his defenses until she last drew breath.

 

“I can’t-”

 

Ashanna touches his arm and he flinches almost violently, just now realizing how close she has approached. He tries to turn, but she slides her one free arm around his waist. She cannot trap him this way, with the one arm, but he stops anyway; helpless in her grasp.

 

She has caught him. A smile, a real smile, graces her lips and reaches her eyes.

 

“I will leave the temple, as you wish, and rejoin the others in the morning. I have one request, however.”

 

“I will listen, though I cannot promise to grant it.”

 

Stay with me, just for tonight?“ She can practically feel the tension radiating off of him at her words. He is still for several long minutes before responding. 

 

“That is not the best idea.”

 

“When has anything about us been a good idea?”

 

_“Ashanna-”_

 

When he says her name laced with such longing, she knows she has won. His arms now wrap around her to pull her so tightly against him she gasps. He drinks the sound from her mouth with his own, and the gasp turns into a laugh of pure delight.

 

The Dread Wolf would take her, indeed, before he would run off again with his tail between his legs. 

 

And she would continue her hunt anew. 

 

***

 

It is time for them to part. It’s easier for her; each time she thinks she grows a bit more hardened to the inevitable. Not that the hurt is any less, but the bond between them will still be there. She feels it surge between them now; it may stretch thin from the distance and years, but will always snap the two of them back together. For better or for worse.  

 

She is so very weary of the anger, and the sorrow that had consumed her immediately after, and she cannot bring herself to muster them up, especially as her body feels sated, languid and loved. She is simply content to live in the moment and take what snippets of comfort she can before they resume their duties on opposite sides. Already her mind is working into what spies to ferret out, and which to put into place during her next visit to Tevinter.

 

It is harder on him, each time, and she sees the bowing of his back as he sits at the edge of an old, ancient bed where the rebel once slept Ages ago. She crawls up behind him, her legs sitting astride his hips as her one arm wraps around his waist to hold him close.

 

“Is it time for my wolf to leave me again?” There is no malice in her words as she kisses the back of his neck tenderly. He shudders beneath her.

 

“I am sorry,” he whispers hoarsely. He truly means it. “To leave you like this each time…”

 

“I will endure. And I will keep searching.”

 

“I know.”

 

_“Ar lath ma.”_

 

He turns then, sliding his arms under her to press his face into the crook of her neck as they tumble back to the bed. Her skin is wet from the tears that fall from him, and for a moment her own threaten to fall before she composes herself. Her right hand comes up to stroke the base of his bald scalp soothingly instead, allowing him to pour his grief out into her.

 

She leaves him in his old bed, in his old temple, to spare him from having to be the one to step away again. She plants a chaste kiss on his lips after she dresses herself, and knows when she leaves this place will be bound up in wards and seals that will likely be impossible for her to break through.

 

There are other places the voices of the well speak of that may yet help, and so he cannot keep his secrets forever. 

 

She returns to the valley, where Sera and Rainier greet her with relieved smiles at her safe return. Both see the hard look on her face, but do not comment. 

 

“Didja find something useful in that stupid wolfy elf’s old place, Inky?" 

 

Ashanna nodded, returning her friend’s smile. "Let’s go home.” 

 

***

 

You can also see a drawing I did of this scene [here!](http://destinyapostasy.tumblr.com/post/128955742732/you-should-not-be-here-super-lazy-sketch)

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Immortal by Marina and the Diamonds. It fits the theme of this story pretty well imo


End file.
